Garry Perratt, aka The Lean, Mean Runner Bean
also That Thin Thing, "I've seen more fat on a carrot", "I've seen more fat on a butcher's pencil", etc.

Extreme Running

"From cold weather running in Alaska to the intense heat of the Sahara Marathon, a number of athletes choose to pit themselves against the elements" ... Kym McConnell & Dave Horsley, for example.

These site largely consists of assorted writings by me and those of my friends who explore beyond the limits of conventional running, but there are also a few by people I've never met. There's not a lot of road running here and absolutely nothing on the L-word! They are more or less unformatted so that you have control over how they look. Resize the window if it's too wide, change your browser's default font style/size or even cut 'n' paste them into a word processor to get just the look you want then let me know if you enjoy them. There are also some photos of a few races (indicated in the event listings below).

If your life is free of failures, you're not taking enough risks - Anonymous

The man who makes no mistake does not usually make anything - Edward Phelps

The best piece of running writing I've ever read: Runners by Roger Hart

So there we were, getting stuck into it over a fast, bone-hard course. We were just going hard at it all the time; it felt like I was sprinting flat out all the way. It was simply a case of who could hang onto a hard, long sprint the longest. Real basic, animal stuff. It's times like that when you get the feel of what running is all about. None of this politics, none of this arguing with officials; just racing a bloke over the country, eyeballs out, until one or the other of you falls down. Simple as that. - Nick Rose, 1975.

Sub-ultra events:

• A Couple of Runs on the Wild Side by the Lean, Mean Runner Bean - Dylan Thomas said Do not gently into the night - I didn't!
• Beast, 1997 by Garry Perratt - Superb views and not bad running either.
• Borrowdale Fell Race, 1998 by Garry Perratt - A classic 17-mile fell race.
• Brent Knoll Race, 2001 by Tom Woodman - "Cunningly designed to exploit my three main running weaknesses: running on the flat, running uphill, and running downhill."
• Exmoor Stagger, 1997 by Garry Perratt - A truly staggering race.
• Grizzly, 1994 by Garry Perratt - "The multiest-terrain running experience."
• Grizzly, 1998 by Dave Wotton - "Mere words are insufficient to describe The Grizzly."
• Grizzly 2000 by Sue Rix - "Your legs ache, your back aches, your gluteus maximus is more like jellyious maximus but still you carry on."
• It's the Grizzly, It's the Biz (2001) by Tom Woodman - "What a brilliant race!"
• Grizzly 2002 by Tom Woodman - "I ran, walked, fell, slid, staggered, spludged and lived the Grizzly."
• The Night Before Grizzly (2002) by The Lean, Mean Runner Bean - "An excellent run," we admitted. (But some say we should both be committed!)
• Grizzly 2002 by Julia Wotton - Running in memory of her late husband, Dave.
• Grizzly 2002 by Derek Matthews - "We will never revel in the lap of luxury, unless first we crawl through the bowels of the stinking Bog."
• Inferno Schilthorn Halbmarathon, 2000 by Dave Wotton - "There is no down: Just 2175m up with some short bits which are 'almost flat'!"
• Luppitt Lollop by Garry Perratt - 2001, A Mud Odyssey!
• The mAd mAxe by Garry Perratt - AVR's inaugural three-day Festival of Running.
• Sidmouth Four Trigs Challenge, 2001 by Garry Perratt - An "exciting" run!
• Snowdonia Marathon, 1998 by Dave Wotton - "Not for me running round the London docklands and the Isle of Dogs."
• Summer Series, 1999 by Garry Perratt - Six short, monthly evening races.
• Tough Guy by Bryan Stadden - True multi-sport: running, climbing, crawling and more!

I have met my hero and he is me - George Sheehan

Single-day ultras:

• The West Highland Way, 2005 by Tim Downie - Never understimate the power of positive self-delusion!
• The Hot Bot Trot 2005, a coast path relay by The Legbends - except that mine didn't by the end of it all!
• A Coast Path Relay relay by Lean, Mean and some of his runner beans - including a full frontal Lewd Nude Runner Dude!
• The Coast to Coast by Garry Perratt - 50 miles across the Westcountry peninsula.
• The Greensand Way by Garry Perratt - 40 excellent miles over excellent terrain in excellent company.
• J27 by Garry Perratt - 30 miles over 27 Lakeland tops in eight hours.
• The Maddest Football Fan in Scotland by Stephen Mulrine - Distaster strikes on the way to a football match. (Yes, this is about running ... trust me!)
• A spot of MillenniuMadness by Garry Perratt - 50 miles in (just over) eight hours.
• The Peddars Way Relay by Dave Wotton - "I'll just say that again, it still sounds good: We won the Peddars Way Relay."
• Road Racing With Attitude by Garry Perratt & Is It Worth It? by Marie Perratt - The National 100K Run, 2001.
• The School Run by Garry Perratt - 40 miles around my children's school field in six hours.
• The Two Moors Way relay by Garry Perratt - It was all going swimmingly until ...!
• The South Pole Marathon & Ultra by Richard Donovan - The first race in his attempt to run an ultra on every continent in 2002.

I think I can ... I think I can ... I think I can - The Little Engine That Could

24-hour events and other challenges:

• Across the Years by Stephanie Ehret - A 24 hour track race.
• The Sri Chinmoy 24-hour Track Race by Dave Kelf - And another one ... now, there's a surprise!
• The Bob Graham Round - Various bits 'n' pieces about the classic 70-mile route over 42 Lakeland peaks within 24 hours.
• The 100-mile Cotswold Way in 24 hours by Bryan Stadden - Wow!

The luxurious ache of tired but not weary limbs - Michael Fairless, 'The Roadmender'.

Multi-day ultra races:

• Badwater Ultra 2001 by Meredydd Evans - 135 miles from Badwater in Death Valley (elevation -282') to Mt. Whitney Portals (8360').
• Iditasport 2001 by Jackson Griffith - 130 miles of the Alaskan Iditarod dog-sled trail ... in winter!
• Iditasport 2002 by Jackson Griffith - He actually finished this time (!) but it took him right to the limit.
• Marathon des Sables 2001 by Jackson Griffith - the infamous six-day Saharan ultramarathon.
  Jackson's a man who just can't stop abusing his body and soul! Inspiring. His latest exploits will be at Tent64.com.
• The Deca Ironman 2002 by Meredydd Evans - It only took him 12 days, 21 hours, 09 mins and 20 secs!

You learn from fear. Don't back away from it. Seek it out before it seeks you - Jackson Griffith

Mountain marathons, etc.:

• The Great Lakeland Three Day Event by Garry Perratt:
  • Why you should do it!
  • 1998's inaugural event was called the Great Lakeland Trail Race - 85 miles over the Lakeland 3,000ers in three wonderful days.
  • In 2000 it was called the Great Lakeland Challenge - 75 miles through the Lakes over three days.
  • Then it became the Great Lakeland Three Day Event. I took some photos in 2001 and 2002 and
  • Wrote about it in 2004 and 2005.
• Two-day mountain marathons by Garry Perratt - What they are.
• The Saunders Lakeland Mountain Marathon, 1997 by Dave Wotton - SLAMMed!
• Saunders Lakeland Mountain Marathon, 2000 by Garry Perratt - A most enjoyable and successful race.
• Karrimor International Mountain Marathon, 2000 by Garry Perratt - Neither quite so enjoyable nor as successful!

It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness - Mahatma Gandhi

Multi-sport events:

• Great Lakeland Challenge, 2000 by Dave Wotton - Canoeing the length of Lake Windermere, cycling from Ambleside to Wasdale Head then running over Scafell Pike to Langdale.

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional - M. Kathleen Casey

There's more to running than merely running:

• My downfall by the Lean, Mean Limpy Bean - After 25 years' running I finally sustain a serious injury.
• Runners by Roger Hart - The best piece of running writing I've ever read.
• Dreaming by Garry Perratt - I get into trouble on a run ...
• Running in Africa by Oh! Limpy One - ... as does the limpy man!
• From The Other Side & Is It Worth It? are my wife's view of all my racing!
• And The Old Man Died by Michael Selman, The Roads Scholar.
• Long-Distance Love Blooms in the Chat Room by Michael Selman, The Roads Scholar - A good, old-fashioned love story!
• Runner's Hi! by Michael Selman, The Roads Scholar - "Hi!"
• A Grand Day Out by Garry Perratt - Empirical evidence that beer is Good For Running!
• The Race For Life by Maurice Ault - "I defy anyone to be indifferent to that mood and experience."

All it takes is all you've got - Marc Davis

Practical stuff:

• Bookshelf - Some running books I've enjoyed.
• Things I hate as a race organiser by Garry Perratt - Most of them boil down to runners not reading entry forms properly!
• The Cost of Running by Garry Perratt - It isn't actually much cheaper than driving!
• The Meaning Of It All by Garry Perratt - The origin of some running goods manufacturers' names.
• Are Women Better Than Men at Running Ultras? by Andy Milroy.

Your body will argue that there is no justifiable reason to continue.
Your only recourse is to call on your spirit, which fortunately functions independently of logic
- Tim Noakes, 'The Lore of Running'

And, finally, running's a funny old thing ...

• Childbirth Envy: Why Men Run Ultras by Blake P. Wood - "It is suggested that male ultrarunners suffer from ... the subconscious desire to duplicate the painful experience of childbirth."
• How not to get into the Snowdon Race by SteveThePsycho - "Such a list of events! And a humourous ending! How could I fail to be welcomed?"
• A selection of puzzles.
• A fell running glossary explaining all those terms in language even a Southern Softy road runner can understand.
• A to Z of Running in the South - Races from A to Z (with a few liberties).
• AA to ZZ of Running - Races from AA to ZZ (with even more liberties).
• The Twelve Running Days of Christmas - In Words and Pictures!
• The Bean meets a Grizzly end!
• The Bean in old age!

And, finally finally, non-running can also be funny ...

• Dr. Suess Computes.
• A cartesian diversion.
• Science can be fun.
• How business really works.

I have learnt silence from the talkative, tolerance from the intolerant and kindness from the unkind. I should not be ungrateful to those teachers - Kahlil Gibran